When Home and School Become Unsafe: Family and School Violence Against Youth
The survey about reclusive teenagers focused on their understanding of reclusive youth and the current status of both the adolescents and their families. The results were presented at a forum titled “The Current State of Social Isolation Among Children and Youth and Response Strategies,” hosted by the Ministry of Gender Equality and Family on the 21st. Cha Joo-hwan, Director of the Counseling and Welfare Research Division at the Korean Youth Counseling and Welfare Development Institute, surveyed 240 counselors from nationwide youth counseling and welfare centers, as well as out-of-school youth support centers.
The research team defined reclusive youth as those aged 9 to 24 who:
Spend most of their time at home or in their rooms,
Have remained reclusive for more than three months,
Have little to no social contact outside of their immediate families,
Have no intellectual disabilities or diagnosed mental illness, and
Do not participate in academic or employment activities.
Research shows that the primary causes of adolescent social isolation and reclusion are difficulties in forming friendships and interpersonal relationships in schools, experiences of bullying and school violence, and family abuse or neglect. A recent survey of counselors with experience working with reclusive youth provides indirect but valuable insight into the lived realities of these adolescents.
This survey was conducted among counselors who had worked with reclusive teenagers, the adolescents cited school violence, bullying, and physical / verbal abuse or neglect from their families as the main reasons behind their social withdrawal. Social withdrawal due to academic struggles or employment concerns was very uncommon for teenagers.
Counselors reported that reclusive adolescents had frequently experienced “bullying or exclusion from peers” (65.7%) and “physical or verbal abuse by parents” (46.4%) prior to isolating themselves. This suggests that peer abuse and domestic violence or neglect are the primary drivers behind these teens’ decision to withdraw from society.
When asked about the main causes of youth reclusion (again, multiple answers allowed), 86.4% of counselors cited “difficulty forming relationships in schools,” 65.0% mentioned “bullying or school violence from peers,” and 52.9% pointed to “family issues such as physical and verbal violence, neglect, or lack of care.” In contrast, withdrawal due to academic struggles (27%) or employment concerns (9.3%) was relatively uncommon.
Among the 240 respondents, 58.3% (140 counselors) had experience counseling reclusive adolescents. The most common pattern of reclusion (with multiple responses allowed) was “leaving the room but not going outside the house” (75.7%). In terms of duration, 49.6% had been reclusive for three months or less, 37.5% for three to six months, and 12.9% for over a year.
It seems that many parents were neglectful—whether their children were reclusive, wandering, or exhibiting other behavioral issues. As a result, counselors largely agreed that a family-centered approach is necessary for effective reintegration into society. However, would that be helpful in convincing family members who were abusive and neglectful from the beginning, when they seem to be the main source of their withdrawal from society?
The most common reason parents failed to recognize their child’s reclusive behavior early was the belief that “it was a temporary phase that would resolve itself” (19.7%). The service most needed by parents of reclusive adolescents, according to counselors, was “education programs to better understand reclusion” (71.7%).
But is this perspective truly effective? If the root cause of a teenager’s reclusion is family violence and neglect, can returning to the same environment really be in their best interest? In reality, one of the most pressing problems in our country is that some social workers and counselors inflict secondary harm by verbally or physically abusing adolescents who fled abusive homes. They seem to feel a disturbing sense of superiority, as if they believe the abused children somehow “deserved” the mistreatment. Worse still, they often attempt to return these youth to the very toxic environments they escaped from.
Conclusion
The phenomenon of teenage social withdrawal cannot be addressed effectively without a critical examination of the toxic family environment, which often lies at the root of the issue. Reclusive behavior among adolescents is more frequently linked to school violence, bullying, and abuse or neglect at home. These are not temporary phases; they are trauma responses that require serious, informed intervention.
Many parents misjudge the signs of isolation, assuming their child is simply going through a temporary but harmless stage. These parents are not emotionally sufficient on their own, especially when the parents themselves are the source of harm.
Alarmingly, some counselors and social service providers contribute to a cycle of harm by dismissing adolescent accounts of abuse or even attempting to return them to dangerous family or school environments. This not only undermines trust in support systems but also risks retraumatizing already vulnerable youth.
These parents, often being the source of harm themselves, are simply not enough to support their children alone. This not only erodes trust in support systems but also risks re-traumatizing already vulnerable, isolated youth. A more nuanced and protective system is urgently needed at the government and school levels. This includes trauma-informed training for all professionals supporting at-risk youth, as well as safe and independent housing or temporary shelters for those escaping abusive home or school environments.
A more nuanced and protective framework is urgently needed. We need trauma-informed training for all professionals who work with troubled youth, and safe housing or temporary shelters—independent from the family—for youth escaping abusive homes and school systems.
Ultimately, meaningful reintegration cannot be achieved by simply sending adolescents back to the family or school environments that caused their withdrawal. We must build school and government systems that protect their rights, support their recovery, and enable them to thrive—on their own terms.